


"You're a Romantic Piece of Shit"

by wellexcuuuuuseme



Category: The Odd Couple (1968), The Odd Couple (TV 1970), The Odd Couple (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sequel, felix is my baby forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3560012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellexcuuuuuseme/pseuds/wellexcuuuuuseme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the same universe as "Always Wanted a Gay Friend" and "Oh— you thought..."</p><p>Just a little bit of mushy fluff honestly the most indulgent thing I've ever written bc I had a bad week and I am bad weak</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You're a Romantic Piece of Shit"

It had been several days and Felix's anxious feelings had not gone away. They were not anxiety about any particular upcoming event, they were that awful, persistent, generalized anxiety that lumps up in the throat. He was up late, cleaning, while Oscar watched TV inattentively 

"Felix." Oscar said, half-hushed as Felix was scrubbing the floor behind the sofa. 

"What?" 

"Felix, stop. You don't need to do that." 

"I—"

"Nope. Don't. Sit down." Felix sat in that chair that he likes. Does he like it because it's easy to clean? Who knows. "Felix. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thanks—"

"Don't lie to me. How many hours have you bathed in the past two days?"

"Well, five, but that's—"

"Stop. Listen. Bathing 2.5 hours a day is not 'fine'. Scrubbing everything in the apartment is not 'fine', even for you at this rate. You are not bothering me by your habits, you're bothering me by not taking care of yourself."

"In what world is bathing not—"

"Five hours, Felix. Five."

Felix sighed and melted slightly in the chair. 

"We can watch Friends again if you want—" 

"No, it's almost 1:00. This late, I'd not want to start anything new. I'd not want to—"

"Ok, yes, you need sleep. Sometimes you need human contact, too."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to—"

"Felix. You've been in a serious funk lately. I need you to tell me what I can do to support you." 

"Could you— no, that's not—"

"I mean it." 

"Could you stay with me tonight?"

"What, like in your room?" Felix nodded. "Can do."

Oscar stood up and was grabbed gently by the wrist. He could have argued or fought or any, er, normal Oscar behavior, but he didn't. Admittedly, he did have to choke back an 'I know where the rooms are in my own apartment' kind of sentiment but overall he was doing pretty well. 

He sat where Felix had vaguely gestured to and tried to make himself useful. His arm was brought around the other's waist, but he didn't know what to do with his hands. It was awkward, honestly.

"We could talk, if you would feel better about the situation." Felix said softly, "Or, uh, I could shut up and you could pretend to be holding a woman." 

"Who says I'd rather be holding a woman?" he said, well aware of how that came across, "Felix, you and your friendship means more to me than any romance has in years." 

He took up Felix's free hand in his and noticed how rough it was. It was logical for someone who washes their hands as much as he does, and washes dishes, and washes… everything. It does a number on the skin, doesn't it. He avoided the urge to rub consolingly, trying not to irritate the already irritated, callused hand. He exhaled a stifled snort at that thought, because that's how he'd been around Felix since the breakup and, to a slightly lesser extent, during their whole friendship. That feeling of wanting to help, sometimes desperately wanting to help, but legitimately quite fearful that one's idea of helping may do more harm than good. In that way, Felix was often dry skin all over, meaning sometimes he needed a different care routine than other skins, and sometimes he needed to avoid the things that made his dry skin flare up. He needed a place without irritant, and, without doubt, Oscar was glad to be that place. 

That night, for the first time in a long while, he fell asleep with someone he cared about in his arms. It was just as nice as he remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, Felix's compulsions, anxieties, and general emotions are p much autobiographical. Congratulations on reading my mush, please accept this joke as a reward:
> 
> Q. what do pool sharks eat?  
> A. gambler fish
> 
> fun fact: I put this in the hemingway app and it said it was a grade 5 reading level


End file.
